Since a lot of players are reluctant to spend any time reading through quests these days, it’s rare that we come across one that causes us to pause and go ‘woah, wait a second.’ – but there’s a few quests in Vanguard I’ve found that do just that. Pictured above is Velours, my innocent shaman. Well, she used to be innocent. See that rather shady looking peasant standing behind her? That is a dazed (and crazed) farmer. She lured him out of a field (filled with other farmers, and a few demon like creatures) and she’s taking him over to that innocent looking windmill up ahead. No doubt she promised him some better pants (his are quite obviously in rags) and maybe the chance to see his long lost relatives. Either way, the farmer didn’t put up any resistance at all.
Here we are inside of the windmill. See those chunks of meat on the ground? Yep. That’s our farmer. Not only did ‘innocent’ Velours have to lure the farmer to this windmill, but she had to hack him into four large pieces, and then stuff those pieces in the grinder that you see off to the left. Now, maybe you could excuse hacking up just one farmer. But no. I had to do this three times. Once I did it a third time, I had to gather all of the evidence inside that grinder (ew) and place it in a barrel (off to the right) so that I wouldn’t be caught.
Now of course there was a back story to this quest. I’m not evil after all but apparently the farmers were. I was saving a town by doing this (or so I was told) – and had to hide the evidence because of COURSE the towns people are not going to approve of this method of disposal. Why could I not just be rid of them the ‘regular’ way? Not sure, something about possessed minions and they’d probably just come back to life or some such.
This is a quest that I will not ever forget. It wasn’t particularly news worthy in the NPC dialog, but the actions of the quest were just so bizarre and so out there and weird compared to the usual “Kill X of Y creatures” and “Collect 10” quests that I had been doing, that it made me stop and just crack up laughing (I never claimed that I was sane).
I doubt I’m the only person who has ever had this experience, and I doubt this is the only quest that has ever elicited that result. Are there any unforgettable quests that you’ve completed over your gaming life time? Let me know in comments!
Happy gaming no matter where you find yourself – I’ll see you in Telon!