BoTD: Proper Reverence of the Sacred Cabbage by Minsipone

It’s Wednesday! It’s 115F here in Ottawa this week and I don’t feel creative enough to think of a post, so please enjoy this book of the day! It’s one of 550+ player-written books I have in my Norrathian Library on the Antiona Bayle server (South Freeport Mistmoore Craig Estate under the name of Stargrace if you’d like to visit).

Proper Reverence of the Sacred Cabbage – By Minsipone

LOCATION…
Clan Werre guild hall, just off the shores of Antonica. Teleport available, but please keep your hands and feet inside the port stream as a few Cabbages were lost during transport and have been known to bite.

BEFORE YOU ENTER…
The Sacred Cabbage does not approve of any object which might pierce its delicate leaves. You must leave your knives, swords, daggers, hammers, maces, etcetera outside The Shrine.

AFTER YOU ENTER THE SHRINE…
DO NOT use the words “boiled”, “cooked”, “fried”, “soup”, or “saurkraut”.

DO NOT eat the Cabbages.

IN FACT… DO NOT touch any Cabbage which has not invited you to do so.

DO NOT touch the Minsipone’s Sacredly Tinkered objects.

SHOULD YOU DECIDE TO APPROACH THE SACRED CABBAGE…

you MUST wear soft soled shoes.

You MUST have your hair arranged in pig tails. Males, Iksar, Frogloks, Trolls, and Sarnak are not exempt.

You MUST be wearing at least one earring.

You MUST walk on your knees.

and then you MUST place your hands palm to palm under your chin, giggle twice, and repeat the following…

I speak on high,
I speak of rye,
Because I so love bread,
And also the color red.

Those are the rules. Ebon Plurbius Oonum, Mozeltoff, amen, and other such declarations of faithfulness and praise.

May the Sacred Cabbage protect your hinys and watch over your shinys… may it fry your snails and puppy dog tails… may it light the way to much larger pay… etcetera, etcetera.

Minsipone Persiphone,
Lover of the Sacred Cabbage


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