Addicted to Organization

As soon as I had children, there suddenly became this whole section of my life where I had very little control. Simple things, like sleep, became something that was dependent on my babies instead. The lack of control over my own life was daunting – so I started organizing the few things I had control over. I would organize by putting things into lists, charts, graphs, and regain control over the aspects of my life that were still mine to control. Doing this helped me control my anxiety which was probably at its peak during those beginning months right after a new baby.

I use the same tactics for blogging. I don’t pre-determine what I’m going to write about but I do jot down ideas, rough schedules, save up screenshots for future posts, and all of that good stuff. It helps me feel in control, gives me some semblance of organization in a world where I have very little of it. Charts and graphs and lists actually help calm me down, which is why I’m pretty devoted to my bulletjournal, or importing excel sheets like the one above of my world of warcraft battle pets.

For a long time I felt ashamed of these lists. I felt like a ‘normal’ person wouldn’t need to write down the tiny parts of their day into a list to get them completed. Over the years I’ve decided to simply be who I am, and if that means I function better with these little bits of organization, so be it.

My google sheets folder is filled with things like the list above. Which characters I have on which servers in which games doing which crafts. Market details for games like Wurm Unlimited. Little bits and bobs that make almost no sense to anyone else, but for me, are tiny little life preservers urging me along.

If you use any of these sort of tactics to get through your day, you should not be made to feel ashamed of them. We’re all just doing what we can and there’s nothing wrong with that.

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