Category: Real Life

Loving Miniatures

I love all things miniature, and a while back I picked up some tin can kits where you build a little scene inside of them, complete with wiring. You can see my starting efforts above, I managed to get the wiring done and the case that holds the battery. This miniature kit is VERY tiny, it’s not the dollhouse 1:12 ratio that I would like to work with, but hey the price was right and it was a nice first attempt. I have to let everything dry before moving on to the next step, but it shouldn’t be too complicated now that the wiring is done. We’ll see!


Balancing Act

My life is one big balancing act. Some days I’m better at doing that than others but one thing that has helped me keep organized about it all is setting up a bulletjournal (also known as a bujo). I use this to track the important things going on in my life, and recently I’ve even set up schedules for hobbies and video games that I’m cycling through. Why bother? Well, I’m not good at playing just one game. Right now I’m playing WoW, FFXIV, Wurm Online (North and South servers), and Wurm Unlimited. That’s just the MMO side of things.

Combine that with my plethora of hobbies (knitting, reading, spinning, drawing, you get the picture) and then add in friends and family – and it can all be pretty overwhelming. When I’m tired (which is often) I am inclined to just sit and stare at the screen doing absolutely nothing at all until it’s bedtime. That feeling is the worst, because I KNOW my time is limited.

That’s where I’m at. Constantly balancing things and re-balancing them so that I actually get something done in the slot that I have available. Is it working? I feel like it is, I’ve managed to keep up with my knitting projects, the blog is going well, I get some reading done, I do a little gaming. Do I feel any less stress? Yes. I certainly do. I have a plan, and those times when I can’t think of what I want to do, I refer to the plan. If I don’t follow things I don’t stress about it, either. It’s meant as a guideline, not a hard rule.

As always, happy gaming, no matter where you find yourself!


Yum

One of my absolute favourite things in the world – is crackers and cheese. It’s comforting (I know there’s a science behind cheese being that way) and my three favourite cheeses are brie, blue cheese, and goat. I could probably live off of that for the rest of my life (thankfully I don’t have to).


Expecting Mail

Even though I’m not spending a lot of time in World of Warcraft these days, the fact is the game has been a part of my life since release, and breaks don’t change that. Blizzard recently had a sale going on and with some pennies I had saved up I decided to treat myself to a few pieces of merchandise! Dottie the alpaca is no surprise, that’s one of my favourite animals right there – and a framed print of Sylvana, who is one of my favourite WoW characters (even if she has a bad rap).

Hopefully everything ships my way without too many issues. We’ll see how it goes. Living in a remote isolated place does come with its issues. Getting mail being a big one. Sometimes, it’s just nice to treat yourself.


Christmas Baking

This year I wanted to do some Christmas baking with the kids – especially since covid has our holidays looking a lot different than normal. Our province has been pretty slack in restrictions but recently decided that the holidays will be restricted to immediate family only (except you can still go shopping with your extended family, eat at a restaurant, or do any number of other activities).

Anyway, we’ve made butter tarts, rice crispy treats with dates instead of marshmallow, a gingerbread village, and now we’ve made Christmas nougat. I wasn’t sure what to expect, I don’t think I’ve ever had nougat before – but this was simple and delicious. I’ll definitely be making it in the future.


More Christmas Baking

The family got together and created a little gingerbread Christmas village – since my littles are 4.5 and 2.5 respectively, it was a ton of fun. Yes, they ended up eating more than was placed on the houses, but we all had a great time. Just a little tradition that I absolutely adore.


Thanksgiving Meal

I know I’m sharing this a bit late, but we had our Canadian Thanksgiving Day a few weeks back, and this was the meal I prepared – along with miniature pumpkin pies. It was incredible. I decided to go with ham instead of a turkey, fresh cranberry sauce (there is no other way), stuffing, mashed yams & carrots, mashed potato, gravy, and buns.

I’m thankful for so very much.


Rendering

I decided to play around a bit with DAZ and do some 3D rendering. I used to a long time ago, but it has been ages and I didn’t have any art assets any more. I keep thinking maybe I’d like to get back into art, and I know it takes practice – but I also have a LOT of hobbies (too many?) and finding time to do everything along with a 2 year old and a 4 year old, is pretty much impossible. Something has to give.


More Tools

I sort of stumbled down a rabbit hole this week. A few tools that all work well together let me create some animated WoW pieces, which is tons of fun. Pictured above is WoW Model viewer, which can be used with WoW tools, and blender.

I really wish I had more time to play with this stuff.


Time Flies

When I look back on my life over the past 10 years, I’m astounded at how much has changed. I can honestly say that EVERY single aspect of my life is different than it was 10 years ago.

10 years ago I was in a relationship with a man who didn’t want children – we had been together almost 12 years. I didn’t know he didn’t want children. I very much wanted children. I always have. We finally came to an impasse, and I left the relationship. At the time I thought that was the most difficult decision I had ever made.

I then decided to move across the country, leaving behind family & friends to give a chance to a man I had known for the better part of a decade as a friend. I also got a job with Carbine Studios. Turns out it was meant to be, so five years ago I started dating the man, the job with Carbine lasted much shorter, I left after three years. A year after that, 4 years ago, we got married. Then we had our first kid. He joined the RCMP, and we moved from our home to a new province. We had our second kid. Then we moved again to a Northern isolated post. Nothern like there are no paved roads here. Groceries is a 6h round trip (minus the time to shop). Internet is 5mb/s maximum. It has been a difficult adjustment but not for the reasons I thought.

In between those times I started to teach myself to knit, I learned to code, I brushed up on my French, I bought an antique circular sock knitting machine and taught myself how to use it. I taught myself how to spin fiber into yarn. I’m currently learning how to use an electronic knitting machine from 1980. I started getting involved in the fiber community. We learned our son has autism.

I’ve never been so surrounded by people and yet felt so alone in my entire life. I never feel like I fit in. I never feel like I’m able to connect to people. I try, I try to learn about them and listen to issues and be there, but my time is so incredibly wrapped up around my children and my husband’s schedule that there isn’t a lot of time for ‘me’ in there, and when there is, no one is around.

I’ve been struggling very hard for the past four years. Having a child with special needs is difficult enough but remove all form of support, family, and friends and you’re left with startlingly little. I like to think I’m a strong woman but honestly, I’m not. I have been failing in everything I touch. That’s probably part of the reason I bounce around video games, I’m a jack of all trades and a master of none. I just can’t seem to settle down in any aspect of life.

Anyway, no real reason for this post, I just needed to get it out a bit. Life is hard. The pandemic stuff has been hard. I feel like every day is a struggle and even talking to people professionally about what is going on has not been helping because there’s just always SO MUCH going on. I try not to have regrets, but I definitely have regrets.