Category: Real Life Page 2 of 29

Admitting Defeat

We’re into August now, and my posts for the month including Blaugust posts have been pretty sparse. Turns out I was too ambitious in my desires for this month, and I have to admit defeat. First of all, as much as I LOVE the idea of 365 days of creativity, I just can’t do it. I’m healing from my c-section, nursing every 2h, and raising my 22 month old which leaves maybe 1h a day of “mommy time” when I’m not trying to get some sleep/a shower/food. I don’t expect this to change for the next few weeks (months?). Then there was Blaugust, which I signed up for as a mentor. I feel so remote and distant from everyone else who is happily chattering away on discord, sharing their posts and motivating each other to get the blog stuff done (and podcasts, and all sorts of neat other stuff). I just can’t do it.

Add to it the postpartum depression I’ve been trying to deal with, and I simply can’t. My plate is full, I’m out of spoons, and life is just too hard right now.

I’ll try to keep posting here and there when I can because it’s therapeutic to get my thoughts out, but I’m officially admitting defeat to taking on tasks for the rest of the year, and if you don’t see me around twitter/discord/etc much, well, you know why.

Happy gaming, no matter where you find yourself.

15/365 – Mitered Memory Blanket

Slow and steady progress is still progress! I may not have picked the best time to try to do 365 days of creative activities, but I’m still going to keep trying because doing these things keeps me grounded, reminds me I’m more than just a mother to my children that I’m also an individual with hobbies that I enjoy a great deal, and can help relax me when I’m feeling really stressed out (which right now, is all of the time).

Blaugust Reborn – Deciding to Blog

There are tons of reasons that people start blogging – and there’s no one right reason, there’s just the reason that is right for you. When I started 12 years ago (holy crap, it has been a while) I just knew I wanted a little space on the internet to get some thoughts out about EverQuest 2. At the time I was not playing anything else and blogging was becoming a popular way to get out there. I didn’t care about how many people read, whether they left comments, and I certainly didn’t think about where the blog would take me.

I stuck with it (obviously, I’m still writing) and have been incredibly surprised at how rewarding it is. For me, persistence has been key (despite the fact that I blog far less frequently now than I ever have).

I still don’t worry about how many people stumble into my little corner, I still write just for me. I do accept the occasional advertisement that emails me (more about the controversy of this in another post) but my base reasons for blogging have shifted slightly. I now write as a way to relieve some stress and create a record of memories that I can look back on. I no longer blog about EQ2 (or even keep my posts video game related) and instead embraced the fact that I’ve got multiple hobbies. All of this is perfectly fine. You can have one reason or a hundred reasons to get your thoughts out there but I do want to stress the fact that if you want to keep at it, and not just give up after the first week, or month, that you should set it into some sort of a routine. Getting a quick post out before work, or making a post on your drive with some voice technology, or even having a waterproof whiteboard in the shower to jot down those important ideas will all help.

If you’re not having fun with it, re-assess why you’re blogging and try not to berate yourself or stress yourself out. Some days you just may not feel like it – and that’s OK too! You don’t need to have it figured out right away, and your blog will certainly go through some changes over time. Just keep true to yourself and what you want from the experience.

14/365 – Fingerless gloves

I still need to finish off the thumb, but my first fingerless glove is completed – yay! There are a few imperfections with it, but I don’t mind, they’re what make it unique to me. I can’t wait to wear them this fall! They would have been completed a lot faster had I not just had a newborn (laugh) but I’m still really pleased with the progress. Expect a review about the yarn that I used in a few days time, for now I’ll just say it was an absolute joy to work with and I LOVE the stitch definition (an important component to good yarn).

Day 13/365 – Fingerless Gloves & Beta Yarn

A few more rounds (12 or so) and my first fingerless glove will be completed! I meant to finish it before I had Nugette, but alas time has never really been on my side, there always seems like there’s so much to do and so little time to get it all done in. That being said I’ve still managed to eek out some knitting moments here and there between nursing and all the rest to get a few rounds in, and hopefully the first fingerless glove will be completed before too long so I can finally post my review of this amazing yarn I’ve been beta testing.

Two under Two

My first pregnancy was a really difficult one. There were flights to hospitals for neural tube tests, a lot of weight loss and sickness, and an under weight birth that was 5 weeks early. The difficulties continued as he developed colic that lasted a few months and lets just say he is a very stubborn child. I wouldn’t give it all up for anything, but they were not easy times. My husband had 8 months of paternity leave and without his support, there’s no way I would have survived.

My second pregnancy was a huge surprise after the issues we had with our first. It took us two years with help of fertility specialists the first time around. It was certainly different for our second. Healthy, no problems, but the history of my past always lurking in the background causing a lot of stress.

Now I’ve got 2 under 2, as the term goes, and I’m finding new difficulties. My husband only has three weeks off work instead of 8 months, and I’m healing from a c-section. We’re in a new town, in a new province, and have no support system set up. I still don’t drive (I was working on my beginners). How on earth am I going to survive and keep these precious children alive? That’s a question that honestly passes through my mind hourly at this stage, hence my decision to blog about it and get my feelings out. I suffered from horrible postpartum depression last pregnancy, and I’m terrified of going down the same road this time, too. I can’t be the mother I need to be if I can’t take care of myself.

This morning I told my husband to sleep in 2 hours, so I could handle the breakfast routine on my own and see how I do. He’s close by in case I need help, but I know that in just two weeks I’ll have to do this for real, and I want to know I can do it. Healing from my c-section is honestly the hardest part at this point. I’m sore. I can’t lift up my son for another 4 weeks, and he doesn’t understand what the heck is going on in his world.

I hope I can do it.

Day 12/365 – Mitered Memory Blanket

I’ve barely gotten the next square of my mitered memory blanket started, but progress is progress, even if it’s slow… Having a newborn and a toddler in the house means knitting time is greatly reduced in favour of sleep (what little of that I can get).

Day 11 – Mitered Memory Blanket

I finished my first panel of 3×3 squares for my memory blanket and am working (very slowly) on my second panel. Only 3/9 squares are done so far, but it’s not supposed to be a very fast project. Once I have a few more 3×3 panels I’ll try different joins to see which one I prefer. I’m anticipating a heavy black border around the outside and between each panel, but we’ll see what looks best. The squares are looking more uniform and are getting slightly faster for me to do now that I’ve got 12 under my belt, too. I almost wish I were doing these squares in a heavier yarn so that it would knit up faster. I do have a patter for one from knitpicks which I may end up attempting (eventually) but we’ll have to see.

In the meantime, craft on!

Day 10 – I helped create that

My daughter was born July 18th and that’s probably the most creative thing I’ve done all year. Posts may be sporadic, but I’ll try to keep up. So far the most difficult part is that my son, who is 22 months old, doesn’t understand what the heck is going on. We’ll get there though.

Day 9 – Caribbean-Spiced Veggie & Sausage Skewers

The final meal that I was trying out from Hello Fresh was these delicious looking pork sausage skewers. The potato salad threw me off because it’s made with very simple but odd to me items. It was mayo (real stuff, not miracle whip stuff), white wine vinegar, sugar, red onion, parsley, and potato. Red ones this time instead of the yukon yellows that I had in the first meal.

Still, the flavours were fantastic. It was a bit spicy for my husband, but I didn’t mind it too much. Since we don’t have a grill and I ended up ruining the oven temporarily, I used our little flat top counter grill to cook the kabobs. I did find that the meat portion was lacking slightly in this rendition. They give you 8 skewers, but I was only able to make 6 with the portions of meat I had on hand. Maybe I cut them too large, but they seemed to be the proper size for the item mentioned.

As I mentioned yesterday, it was $32 for 6 meals (3 meals for 2) and I couldn’t really go wrong taking it for a test. None of the meals were especially fancy, they were all easy to prepare, took 30 minutes or less to cook, and were all enjoyable. We’ll see how the next trial turns out (Good Food, which I have honestly never heard of before) and then maybe we’ll stick with one for a bit to make things easier at home while I continue to heal from my c-section and watch two children under two.

Bon appetit!

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